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How to Deal With an Aggressive Employee
Even strong teams run into aggressive behavior at work, and leaders are expected to step in. To deal with an aggressive employee, stay calm and de-escalate in the moment, then address the behavior privately once things are calm. In that follow-up, lead with empathy, set clear expectations, document each incident, hold the person accountable, and address the conditions that fuel it.
Workplace aggression is never acceptable. One lens for understanding what sits beneath an outburst is unmet human needs, such as respect, security, or control over one’s work.
Understanding what’s driving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior. It helps you choose a response that addresses the cause as well as the conduct.
What Counts as Aggressive Behavior at Work?
Aggression in the workplace covers far more than physical violence. The NIOSH workplace violence definition includes “any physical assault, threatening behavior, or verbal abuse occurring in the work setting.”
Aggression is behavior shaped by both the person and the work environment. A SIOP white paper on workplace bullying from the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology notes that personality plays a role alongside the work setting.
Aggressive behavior at work can also overlap with the common types of workplace conflict that teams face every day. The difference lies in how the tension comes out, since aggression can intimidate, harm, or demean another person.
Common Types of Workplace Aggression
Workplace aggression shows up in several forms, and more than one can occur at once.
| Type | What It Can Look Like |
|---|---|
| Verbal | Verbal abuse, yelling, insults, or threats |
| Physical | Pushing, hitting, other physical assault, or threatening behavior |
| Relational | Spreading rumors or gossip, excluding or ignoring a colleague, or refusing to assist a coworker |
| Undermining | Behavior that hinders someone’s relationships, work success, or reputation over time |
In the APA Work in America survey, 24% of workers reported being yelled at or verbally abused at work in the past 12 months. The same 2023 APA Work in America survey found that 19% had experienced bullying. A CIPD evidence review recognizes undermining as a form of mistreatment.
Impulsive vs. Instrumental Aggression
Aggression also differs by intent, and that difference shapes your response. Impulsive aggression is an emotionally driven, in-the-moment reaction. Instrumental aggression is premeditated and goal-directed.
Researchers also call these reactive and proactive aggression, as in a 2025 study in the journal Aggressive Behavior that notes the two can overlap. By the time someone reports a pattern, it may have been going on for a while. Under EEOC harassment guidance, employers can be liable for protected-characteristic harassment if they knew or should have known and failed to act.
Impulsive outbursts often call for de-escalation and support, while instrumental patterns call for prompt HR involvement and formal accountability. You can recover from a shouting match by apologizing sincerely and then having a calm conversation about the work-related problem that led to the disagreement.
What Causes Aggressive Behavior at Work?
Aggression at work can grow out of pressure. Research summarized by CIPD has associated several conditions with aggression and bullying:
- High job stress and demands may leave people with little patience or recovery time.
- Unclear or conflicting roles may leave people feeling set up to fail.
- Poor communication practices, especially without formal policies, may make mistreatment easier to take hold.
- Conflict left unaddressed may build quietly until a small trigger sets off a much larger reaction.
If impulsive outbursts happen frequently, treat them as a signal about the environment as well as the individual.
Warning Signs and Why They Matter
Aggression rarely appears without warning. Watch for changes in the individual and in how the team works around them. Early signs of escalating behavior often appear in how someone communicates and responds to stress, and catching them early gives leaders room to respond calmly.
At the individual level, look for rising irritability, a raised voice, or crowding someone’s personal space. Some people start blaming others, while others withdraw. Remarks about “getting even” deserve prompt attention, even when framed as jokes.
Team-level warning signs of an aggressive employee can be quieter. Colleagues may describe walking on eggshells, avoid one person, form informal complaint networks, or make quiet accommodations to avoid friction. Even strong teams can slip into these patterns without noticing.
Unaddressed aggression can carry real costs. In the same 2023 APA Work in America survey, 52% of workers in toxic workplaces reported mental health harm at work, versus 15% of others. That finding reflects an association.
BLS workplace violence data counts 57,610 nonfatal workplace violence cases in private industry in 2021 and 2022 that involved days away, restriction, or transfer. BLS also recorded 524 workplace homicides in 2022.
How to Respond to an Aggressive Employee in the Moment
The first goal is safety and calm. Winning the argument can wait.
Prioritize Safety First
Safety comes before any conversation. If there’s a threat of physical harm, create distance, keep exits clear, and involve security or call 911. Follow your workplace violence procedures, and don’t handle threats alone.
If there is an immediate threat of violence or serious harm, follow your organization’s emergency procedures. De-escalation supports safety but never replaces safety protocols.
De-Escalate Instead of Proving Your Point
Don’t pile on, bring up past grievances, or raise what happens when expectations aren’t met mid-incident.
Instead, lower your voice, slow your pace, and give the person physical and emotional space. Encourage regulating techniques like slow breathing, and agree to revisit the issue once things are calm. You might say, “I want to understand this, so let’s take ten minutes and pick it back up in my office.”
The same practical de-escalation skills apply when the aggression comes from a coworker or someone yelling at you directly. Don’t match their volume, and set a calm boundary, such as “I want to keep talking, and I need us both to lower our voices.” If it continues, step away and say you’ll return later.
Use the HEARD Method With Customers and Clients
In the same 2023 APA Work in America survey, 31% of workers in customer, client, or patient service roles reported verbal abuse at work.
The HEARD method stands for Hear, Empathize, Acknowledge, Resolve, and Diagnose. Employees hear the customer out, empathize, and acknowledge the problem, then work toward a solution and later diagnose its cause.
Saying “Yes, that’s a common problem” after the customer finishes can reassure them, while saying it mid-sentence can feel dismissive. Avoid blame, since blaming the customer can easily undo the de-escalation work you’ve just done.
After a phone call, email the details so the customer can reread them. If the abuse continues, calmly say the language makes you uncomfortable. Don’t get pulled into circular arguments, and bring in a colleague when the conversation stalls.
Customer-facing teams also benefit from risk assessment and training for handling aggressive customers that help employees calm tense situations before they become physical.
What to Do After the Incident
The follow-up conversation is where lasting change can begin. Hold it privately once everyone is calm.
Start With Empathy
Start by checking in on the person’s welfare. The person may be under strain you can’t see. They may be struggling and lack the resources to manage their distress.
Listen for the needs beneath the behavior, since someone may feel overloaded, overlooked, or afraid of losing their standing. You might open with, “Yesterday’s meeting got heated, and I wanted to check in on how you’re doing.” Where it fits, offer support such as your employee assistance program (EAP) or coaching.
Set Clear Expectations and Document Each Incident
Clarity protects everyone involved. Describe the specific behavior you saw and its impact on the team, without labeling the person. For example, “When you raised your voice at a colleague during the meeting, others stopped sharing ideas.”
Then state the standard plainly and explain what happens when expectations aren’t met. Document each incident with dates, the behavior, witnesses, and the actions taken. Consistent records support fair decisions and help HR see patterns over time.
Follow Through on Accountability
Everyone is responsible for their own emotional reactions. If you require anger management, emotional regulation training, or coaching, confirm it’s happening and schedule regular check-ins.
For instrumental patterns, bring HR in promptly instead of waiting for another incident. Where everyone involved is willing, mediation can help colleagues talk through what happened.
How to Prevent Aggression in the Workplace
Prevention is about the conditions people work in. OSHA has no specific workplace violence standard. According to OSHA workplace violence enforcement guidance, employers can be cited under the General Duty Clause, Section 5(a)(1).
In practice, that starts with a written policy defining unacceptable behavior, clear reporting channels, and no retaliation for reporting. This isn’t legal advice, so consult your employment counsel and HR team about the requirements that apply to your organization.
Reducing everyday stress can also ease the pressure behind many outbursts. In the same 2023 APA Work in America survey, micromanaged workers were more likely to report feeling tense or stressed at work (64% vs. 36%). Building buffer time into deadlines, giving people autonomy, and keeping a shared progress calendar can lighten that strain.
The OSHA workplace violence overview notes that working alone or in isolated areas, and working where alcohol is served, may contribute to violence. Given that risk, it’s reasonable to avoid solo staffing in public-facing roles and limit alcohol at work events.
Culture shapes whether problems surface early. People need to feel safe raising struggles and frustrations before they boil over. Reduce the stigma around mental health, and avoid blaming people for conditions that make their jobs impossible.
Support for Leaders Facing Workplace Aggression
Responding to aggressive behavior at work means staying calm in the moment, following up with empathy and accountability, and improving the conditions that fuel it. At Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, our de-escalation training helps managers and teams build practical skills through roleplay practice. Schedule a Free Consultation to talk through what your team needs.
