Tip #15: Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Published: June 21, 2021 | Last Updated: December 4, 2023by Jeremy Pollack

This week’s conflict resolution tip is about being assertive instead of being aggressive when in conflict.

When we get into conflict with one another, we often wind up operating out of two extremes: aggression or avoidance. Either we feel the need to defend whatever we are being accused of or we feel so uncomfortable by the conflict that we avoid it all together. Although these two modes of operation are common, there is a third way of dealing with conflict: being assertive. Being assertive in conflict means addressing the conflict head-on and authentically, without being aggressive. Assertive communication can be described as a sort of humble confidence in the face of conflict. When we are able to be assertive, we feel comfortable in our own skin, are able to stand our ground respectfully, and accept whatever comes about from the moment we are in. If you want to bring more peace into your life, consider being assertive instead of being aggressive or avoidant.

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Jeremy Pollack

Dr. Jeremy Pollack is a social psychologist and conflict resolution consultant focusing on the psychology, social dynamics, and peacebuilding methodologies of interpersonal and intergroup conflicts. He is the founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, an internationally renowned workplace conflict resolution consulting firm. Learn more about Dr. Pollack here!