When groups of personalities combine under pressure in the workplace, at home, or in the community, conflict can all too easily arise. You might be called upon to extinguish the fire before it spreads.
Like a blaze, disputes can quickly grow to impact other areas of the organization, build a permanent wedge between family members, or start to impart negative consequences to innocent community members.
If you have no experience managing this type of dispute or fear your own emotions may be too high, learning the best conflict management style can help.
How to Manage Conflict Effectively
Managing conflict requires a structured approach that addresses the root causes while ensuring all parties feel fully satisfied. Below are five essential steps to manage conflicts effectively:
Understand the Root Cause
Start by identifying what triggered the conflict. Engage with each person involved to understand their perspective. This insight helps uncover whether the issue stems from misunderstandings, an unpopular decision, or unresolved grievances. A clear understanding lays the foundation for an effective resolution process.
Stay Neutral
As a mediator, remain impartial while addressing the issue. If one co-worker accuses another of misconduct, maintain a neutral stance to avoid escalating tensions. By showing fairness, you encourage the involved person to share their concerns openly.
Encourage Open Communication
Establish a safe environment where all parties can voice their concerns. When a disciplinary action is involved, ensure the process is transparent. Encourage each person to focus on solutions rather than blame, fostering mutual respect and collaboration.
Explore Collaborative Solutions
Guide the conflicting parties toward a solution that meets shared objectives. While compromise might resolve some issues, collaboration builds long-term trust among co-workers. Aim for strategies that reduce future friction while ensuring all parties feel heard.
Follow Up
After resolving the conflict, check in regularly with the individuals to ensure the agreement is upheld. Following up reinforces accountability and prevents recurring issues, ensuring everyone remains satisfied with the outcome.
5 Conflict Management Styles & How They Work
Here are the most common 5 conflict management styles and why the collaborative style rules them all.
1. Collaborate
A collaborative style is when you pair up with your opponent to find a common solution that can be considered a win/win. It is common that when emotions flare up, problem-solving skills fall quickly by the wayside.
Where people may have been able to use their creative minds before, they are stuck protecting themselves in a state of defensiveness against the other person. In that state, anyone can quickly forget how to communicate effectively at work or with peers and family. It could take a strong, level-headed participant in the dispute or even a third party to step in at that point to diffuse some of that tension.
The key is to help each party in the clash identify their specific needs so that a middle ground can be discovered. On this middle path, both parties may be able to work together, and even help each other, to get their needs met, which makes this the most ideal of the five conflict management styles.
Example: Resolving a Workplace Dispute Through Collaboration
Consider a workplace scenario where two department heads are in disagreement over how to allocate shared resources. One manager, heading the marketing team, wants a larger share of the budget to invest in a digital advertising campaign.
The other, leading the product development team, needs funds to enhance the company’s flagship offering. Initially, their conflict style is competitive, each focusing solely on their own team’s priorities. As tensions rise, the organization risks derailing its overall objectives.
This is where the collaborating style comes into play. A mediator is brought in to guide the discussion, ensuring both parties feel heard. The mediator helps the department heads outline their specific needs and explore possible solutions.
After a thorough discussion, they agree to allocate funds in a phased manner—prioritizing the digital campaign first and product enhancements in the subsequent quarter. This solution not only meets the immediate needs of both teams but also strengthens their working relationship.
The collaboration in this case is a clear example of how conflict management styles based on mutual understanding can lead to outcomes that benefit all parties involved. By managing conflict with a focus on shared goals, both managers avoided resentment and achieved a productive outcome.
This style aims to resolve conflict by ensuring all stakeholders gain something valuable, making it one of the most effective approaches for managing conflicts in a professional setting.
2. Accommodate
If someone was teaching conflict resolution to you for help with your own relationship mediation, this might be a hard sell. An accommodating style is when one party of the conflict gives in to the requests of the other for the sake of peace. They may work against their own needs, goals, and desires in an effort to meet the other party where they are and let the flame sizzle out.
The accommodating style is one of those conflict management strategies that can be useful as a long-term approach. For instance, if one party hopes to maintain a positive relationship with the other for future collaboration, they may be willing to sacrifice a win this time around.
However, caution is key. Without a sound strategy, handling conflicts in this way could lead to unresolved resentment that escalates the conflict directly later on. This is why it is vital to balance accommodation with open communication and mutual respect between the parties involved.
Example: Diffusing Tension in a Community Dispute
Imagine a scenario in a small neighborhood where residents are debating whether to allow a community center to host evening events. One group supports the idea for its social benefits, while another opposes it due to noise concerns.
A resident, serving as the mediator, recognizes that the opposition group feels strongly about maintaining peace and quiet in the neighborhood. To avoid further conflict, the supportive group agrees to limit the events to weekends and keep them within specific hours.
Although the supporters adjusted their original proposal, their willingness to accommodate created harmony among the people involved. This approach showcased conflict management skills in action, as the solution addressed core concerns without ignoring the broader goal. Moreover, the parties collaborated to brainstorm creative solutions that maintained peace while fostering community spirit.
By adapting to the situation, the accommodating group demonstrated that different conflict management styles could work effectively depending on the context. While this conflict management style may not always be ideal, it provides a powerful tool for preserving relationships and fostering goodwill when applied thoughtfully.
3. Compete
Of the five conflict management styles, the competing style is your classic win/lose strategy, where one-half of the dispute asserts their needs without making an effort to compromise or even acknowledge the goals of the other party.
This approach prioritizes achieving a decisive outcome, often disregarding collaboration. If the gain is short-term and decisive action is required, this can be the appropriate choice.
However, without the guidance of a skilled conflict management professional, this strategy could escalate the issue and result in long-lasting tensions.
Example: Asserting Control in a Business Emergency
Imagine a company dealing with a sudden security breach that compromises client data. Two department managers clash over how to handle the situation—one insists on immediate system shutdowns, while the other argues for an investigation before acting.
The CEO, recognizing the urgency, employs a competitive style of decision-making. They override both managers’ suggestions and mandate an immediate shutdown to minimize risks.
In this scenario, the CEO’s competing style was necessary due to the time-sensitive nature of the crisis. Their assertive leadership demonstrated the value of using a conflict style that emphasizes quick decision-making when the stakes are high.
While this may have strained relationships temporarily, it ensured the company protected its clients and reputation.
While the competing style is effective in scenarios requiring rapid decisions, it can create challenges in team dynamics if used excessively. Leaders who frequently employ competing risk alienating their team members, as this approach often sidelines collaboration.
To mitigate such risks, it is crucial to balance competition with other leadership styles that promote inclusion and dialogue. In doing so, leaders ensure they resolve conflict effectively while maintaining harmony within their teams.
4. Avoid
With the avoiding style, you are neither giving in to the conflict nor asserting your own needs. Instead, this approach involves stepping away from the issue temporarily, creating space for emotions to settle and perspectives to realign. This can be an effective strategy when emotions are running high or when addressing the conflict immediately could escalate tensions.
However, it is essential to re-engage in the discussion after taking a breather. Prolonged avoidance can lead to unresolved resentment, passive-aggressive behaviors, and a breakdown in communication among those involved in the conflict.
Using an avoidant conflict style can also help to reduce conflict in situations where engaging immediately could be counterproductive. While trying to avoid conflict is not a permanent solution, it allows the other parties to reflect and prepare for a more productive discussion later.
Example: Cooling Off After a Heated Workplace Dispute
Imagine a scenario where two colleagues clash during a team meeting over how to allocate project resources. The discussion grows increasingly heated, and it becomes clear that neither is willing to compromise at the moment.
Recognizing the rising tension, their manager suggests taking a break and rescheduling the meeting for the following day. This break provides both individuals with an opportunity to calm down and reconsider their positions.
The next day, with emotions in check, the team reconvenes. The manager facilitates the conversation and ensures both parties are heard. By postponing the discussion, the manager employed the avoiding style to create a less emotionally charged environment, making it easier to work toward a resolution. This strategic choice helped to reduce conflict and maintain workplace harmony.
While avoiding can be useful for managing immediate tension, it should not become a habit to postpone dealing with every issue. Over-reliance on this conflict style can lead to unaddressed problems that grow more time-consuming to resolve.
Effective conflict management requires knowing when to use avoidance as a short-term tool and when to take direct action to address underlying issues.
5. Compromise
The compromising style is often described as a middle-ground approach to resolving conflict. While some may see it as a “lose/lose” scenario, others recognize it as a practical method where both sides gain enough to move forward.
By making mutual concessions, this strategy works well in situations where achieving a win-win solution may not be possible, yet both parties aim for progress. While it requires sacrificing certain goals, the result often fosters a better understanding and a foundation of mutual trust.
Example: Negotiating With a Difficult Client
Imagine a team leader working with a difficult client who insists on a tighter project deadline. The team knows that meeting the demand would compromise the quality of their work, while the client is unwilling to budge on their expectations.
Recognizing the tension, the leader proposes a compromise: The team will adjust their schedule to complete the most critical deliverables by the deadline, while the client agrees to extend the timeline for secondary tasks.
In this case, neither party gets their own way entirely, but the compromise allows the project to proceed without unnecessary delays or harm to the relationship. This approach also provides the opportunity to explore new ideas for streamlining workflows and preventing future conflicts. Through open communication and fairness, the team leader ensures that all parties feel heard, reinforcing trust and collaboration.
Striking a Balance
While compromise can be a useful tool in handling disagreements, it is not always the ideal strategy. Relying on this conflict management style too often might lead to long-term resentment if sacrifices feel disproportionate.
For instance, other employees might perceive frequent compromises as a lack of decisiveness, impacting morale. However, when used thoughtfully, compromise can deliver the best outcome for time-sensitive or complex situations.
To use compromise effectively, it is essential to assess the specific dynamics of the conflict and determine whether mutual concessions will benefit all involved. By balancing compromise with other conflict management strategies, such as collaboration or avoidance, leaders can navigate disagreements while maintaining strong relationships with their teams and clients.
In the end, this approach to conflict management highlights the importance of flexibility, fairness, and the willingness to adapt. When implemented with care, compromise can pave the way for sustainable solutions, making it a valuable tool for handling disagreements in both professional and personal settings.
The Best of the 5 Conflict Management Styles
As you can tell from above the 5 conflict management styles, the best approach tends to be collaborative. That’s because the strongest theories of conflict management note that an attempt at conflict resolution should be seen as an opportunity for individual and collective growth and that if the leader approaches the situation with that hope in mind, the outcome can be empowering for all.
If you struggle to implement that optimism with your own team or community and cannot find a way to lead a collaborative conflict management style, it’s reasonable to hire a conflict resolution specialist to help keep the peace.
Unfortunately, some disputes may require legal intervention. But very often, a skilled conflict resolution expert or mediator can help you keep the peace while saving you time, money, exposure, and potentially damaged relationships.
It can be easy to think conflict has been resolved, but if underlying tension and resentment build quietly in the background because a proper solution wasn’t instilled, you could have long-term problems on your hands.
Contact Pollack Peacebuilding Systems today for help with your conflict. We’re passionate about creating peace at home, at work, and in the world.
