When conflict arises in the workplace, how we respond shapes the outcome as well as the relationships left behind. Some leaders seek to shut down disagreements quickly, while others ignore them and hope they will dissolve on their own.
However, there is a more effective way to approach tension. This approach helps build stronger teams and opens the door to creative solutions.
The collaborating conflict style is a mindset. It encourages leaders to avoid dominating or retreating but to lean into conflict. It requires leaders to co-create mutually acceptable solutions that satisfy the deeper interests of everyone involved.
This blog explores what makes the collaborating style unique, how it compares to other styles, and how to apply it with intention and success.
Definition and Characteristics of the Collaborating Conflict Style
The collaborating conflict style is centered on open dialogue, mutual respect, and creative problem solving. Instead of framing conflict as a win-lose scenario, it sees tension as an opportunity for innovation, relationship building, and better understanding.
Where some conflict resolution styles skim the surface, collaboration digs deeper. It requires that the parties involved invest in problem solving instead of compromising their values. Parties should articulate their needs and hear out the other’s perspectives in such a way that true understanding can emerge.
This approach is often most effective when:
- The conflict is complex or emotionally charged
- The outcome matters to everyone involved
- There is a need for sustainable, long-term collaborative solutions
In a collaborative environment, both individuals and teams benefit. As seen in research on global virtual teams, applying a collaborative conflict resolution approach led to higher satisfaction, stronger perceived decision quality, and greater participation, especially in diverse groups working across cultures.
However, this style requires resource commitment. It takes time, emotional energy, and skilled facilitation to make it work. That investment, however, pays off in deeper trust and stronger team cohesion.
Differences Between Collaborating and Other Conflict Styles
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument identifies five primary conflict management styles: competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and collaborating. Each type of conflict management style has its place, but the collaborating conflict style stands apart.
Competing Style
The competing style is assertive and uncooperative. It focuses on winning, often at the expense of mutual understanding.
This approach may be necessary in emergencies or when quick decisions are vital. Still, it can easily lead to personal attacks or power struggles if used as a default.
Avoiding Style
Those who adopt the avoiding style tend to avoid conflict altogether. While this might preserve short-term peace, it often allows deeper issues to fester.
Avoidance can breed resentment and create space for small frustrations to spiral into dysfunctional conflict over time.
Accommodating Style
The accommodating style prioritizes others’ needs over one’s own. Though it fosters harmony, it risks long-term dissatisfaction when the person accommodating repeatedly sacrifices their own concerns. In teams, this often leads to imbalance and unspoken frustration.
Compromising Style
The compromising style seeks a quick, middle-ground solution. While efficient for minor issues or under time constraints, it may overlook underlying needs. When both sides settle for less than what they want, the resolution can feel temporary or unsatisfying.
In contrast, the collaborating style is assertive and cooperative. It works through differing opinions by creating space for all voices. Instead of splitting the difference, it fosters win-win outcomes by finding common ground and innovating beyond either party’s initial position.
This is why many experts agree that the collaborating conflict style is the most effective for sustaining long-term workplace conflict harmony and trust.
Steps for Implementing a Collaborating Approach in Various Scenarios
Conflict can be constructive or destructive. Putting the collaborating conflict style into action requires intention. It should be a structured cooperation built on open communication, active listening, and trust.
The following steps offer a framework any team can use.
Step 1: Set Ground Rules for Respectful Dialogue
Start by establishing ground rules that support respectful communication. Clarify that the goal is not to win but to understand and move forward together.
Rules might include:
- Uninterrupted speaking time
- No personal attacks
- Equal participation among the parties involved.
This first step ensures psychological safety, especially in emotionally tense or high-stakes conversations.
Step 2: Focus on Interests, Not Positions
Encourage all team members to share their underlying needs, not just demands. Ask questions that dig beneath the surface:
- What are you hoping to achieve?
- What would success look like for you?
This is where active listening and effective communication play a critical role. As leaders, we must model curiosity rather than defensiveness and guide the conversation toward understanding, not assumption.
Step 3: Explore Alternative Solutions
With all voices heard, the team can brainstorm alternative solutions together. This is the heart of creative problem solving: generating innovative solutions that account for everyone’s priorities. Digital tools, whiteboarding, and structured facilitation can help spark ideas beyond traditional binaries.
This stage works best when team members bring diverse perspectives and trust one another to collaborate honestly.
Step 4: Agree on a Mutually Acceptable Solution
Once potential paths are identified, the group selects a plan that meets the needs of all parties involved. This is the win-win solution the collaborating style seeks.
Everyone should leave with clarity and buy-in. Document agreements, outline the next steps, and establish how progress will be evaluated.
Step 5: Follow Up and Encourage Accountability
Sustainable change requires ongoing support. Leaders should follow up, reinforce agreements, and check in on progress. As we do in our own conflict resolution training, we emphasize coaching and accountability over one-time fixes.
This step turns conversation into transformation, reinforcing a culture of collaborative conflict resolution long after the initial issue is resolved.
Common Challenges and Solutions When Embracing This Style
Although the collaborating conflict style comes with meaningful rewards, it is not without friction. Leaders often face internal and external resistance when shifting from reactive to relational conflict management. The good news is that each challenge has a practical solution.
1. Time and Resource Constraints
The collaborating conflict style demands extensive time, emotional labor, and facilitation. Unlike quick fixes, it does not offer instant gratification. In deadline-driven environments, this can feel like a luxury.
Make collaboration a system, not an exception. Integrate conflict response protocols into team rhythms. These could be standups, retrospectives, or structured check-ins.
Over time, this reduces long-term disruption by resolving issues before they escalate. The investment pays off in fewer missed deadlines, stronger morale, and a more resilient work environment.
2. Emotional Intensity and Personal Attacks
When conflict arises, it can stir up blame, judgment, or defensiveness. This can make open dialogue feel risky, especially in environments where personal attacks have gone unaddressed in the past.
Set clear ground rules early, reinforce them consistently, and model mutual respect. Encourage emotional expression but steer it toward mutual understanding rather than blame.
As facilitators, we regularly guide teams through charged conversations in such a way that the emotion becomes fuel for creative problem solving, not a barrier.
3. Power Imbalances and Differing Opinions
In many cases, leaders, managers, or outspoken voices dominate discussions. This silences team members who may have less positional power but hold essential insight.
Use rotating facilitators or external peacebuilders to create equity in the conversation. Encourage the quiet voices and reframe differing opinions as assets, not threats.
Our training emphasizes how collaborative conflict resolution benefits from diverse inputs and flattens hierarchy in the name of shared outcomes.
4. Attachment to Outcomes
Sometimes, parties involved enter discussions with fixed positions, seeing only one acceptable outcome. This rigidity can sabotage the very openness the collaborating style requires.
Redirect attention from fixed outcomes to underlying needs. When individuals can articulate their core concerns, it becomes easier to discover alternative solutions that meet everyone’s best interests. This shift unlocks creative problem solving and lays the groundwork for innovative solutions.
5. Lack of Skills in Facilitation and Feedback
Not everyone is trained in conflict resolution. Without the right support, well-meaning teams can struggle to stay on track or misinterpret one another’s intentions.
Invest in conflict resolution training. We equip teams with tools to facilitate dialogue, listen deeply, and stay solution-focused. These skills are essential for building a culture of collaborative resolution at every level.
Examples of Situations Where the Collaborating Style Is Most Effective
While no single style works for every situation, the collaborating style shines in scenarios where stakes are high, relationships matter, and creative thinking is essential.
Here are a few examples.
When Two Departments Disagree Over Shared Resources
Imagine a marketing team and a product team both needing the same budget line item. If this escalates into a win-lose contest, conflict may delay the campaign or weaken team cohesion.
The collaborating conflict style gives each side space to clarify priorities and share constraints. By using active listening and exploring middle-ground opportunities, they can reach a win-win outcome, such as co-owning the initiative or reallocating responsibilities.
When Leadership and Staff Clash Over Policy Changes
In cases of top-down policy changes that impact staff workflow, conflict arises when the rationale feels unclear or unfair.
Using the collaborating conflict style, leaders can invite input, validate staff concerns, and work together to shape implementation plans that honor different perspectives while meeting organizational goals.
When Personal Friction Threatens Team Productivity
Tension between team members, especially when left unaddressed, can corrode trust and collaboration. If ignored, even minor grievances can spiral into dysfunctional conflict.
Our experience shows that structured, facilitated conversations using a collaborative conflict resolution model can turn strained relationships into stronger ones. When individuals share impact, express needs, and hear each other out, trust starts to rebuild.
In each of these cases, the collaborating conflict style not only helps resolve conflict but also transforms it into an opportunity for learning, empathy, and alignment.
Additionally, teams can strengthen collaboration by engaging in team-building activities that simulate real-life problem solving and improve open communication.
Overview of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems’ Conflict Training & Services
At Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, we help organizations embed collaborative conflict resolution into their culture.
Our process begins with in-depth one-on-one interviews to understand the full scope of the conflict and prepare team members for respectful communication. We then guide facilitated dialogues, where open communication and empathy create the space for true resolution.
We follow up with individual coaching to ensure solutions are working. This accountability model fosters not just compliance but transformation. Leaders walk away with tools for decision making and empathy and encourage accountability long after a single issue is resolved.
Our virtual and in-person conflict resolution training helps employees recognize conflict triggers, manage emotions, and apply conflict management styles that support psychological safety and trust.
When the stakes are high, we step in with mediation, strategy, and proven tools to help your team resolve conflict with integrity and purpose.
If your team is struggling with communication breakdowns or recurring friction, we are here to help. Learn how our services in managing organizational conflict and conflict transformation can support your mission and build a more peaceful workplace.
