This week’s conflict resolution tip is about taking responsibility where you can.
A lot of people have difficulty owning up to what they’ve done or said because they believe that by doing that, they would be taking responsibility for wrongdoing. And therefore, in an effort to not admit wrongdoing, they do not own up to how their actions may have affected the other party. Acknowledging behavior and admitting wrongdoing are often conflated, which makes people shy away from taking responsibility. This is why it is important to separate these two things and allow people to own up to what they did or said, and how those actions may have affected someone, without necessarily having to say they did something wrong.
It is important to let people feel validated by owning up to your actions and the hurt they may have caused, whether intentional or not. By acknowledging the effects of your actions, the other party will feel validated and hopefully lower their guard to allow for smoother communication and understanding. If you want to have more peace in your life, make sure that when someone points out something that they had a problem with, even if you don’t think you were wrong in the situation, do your best to validate their concerns by acknowledging what you said or did and what the effects may have been — again, even if the effects were unintentional. At the very least, you could own up to the fact that you were unclear in your intention and in communicating why you did what you did. Put yourself in the driver’s seat. Own what you can. Acknowledge your role in the dynamic.
