Tip #16: Start from the Other’s Reality

Published: June 28, 2021 | Last Updated: April 23, 2024by Jeremy Pollack

This week’s conflict resolution tip is about what it means to start from the other’s reality when in conflict.

Perspective-taking is a popular term in the conflict resolution world, primarily because it is a foundational concept for anyone looking to bring peace into their lives. Often, when two people get into conflict with one another, that conflict starts over a situation they both experienced together. Although they can agree on the set of events that occurred in this situation, they both interpret this set of events differently. To resolve this conflict, the two people must first understand each other and why they came to the interpretation that they did.

This is what starting from the other’s reality is all about. While sometimes difficult to do, learning about the other person and being curious about what they are going through in life is vitally important for conflict resolution. Although we can never fully understand another’s life experiences, better understanding the other’s life circumstances and what brought them to the beliefs, positions, or interpretations they have is a great way of finding common ground.

This common ground through getting to know one another can then allow for greater opportunity of collaborating on solutions and reaching compromises. If you want to bring more peace into your life, consider how starting from the other’s reality can help in your day-to-day conflict resolution.

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Jeremy Pollack

Dr. Jeremy Pollack is a social psychologist and conflict resolution consultant focusing on the psychology, social dynamics, and peacebuilding methodologies of interpersonal and intergroup conflicts. He is the founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, an internationally renowned workplace conflict resolution consulting firm. Learn more about Dr. Pollack here!