Home > Blog > How to Resolve Conflict Between Two Employees: A Manager’s Step-by-Step Guide
Two capable employees clash over a project deadline. One feels let down, the other feels blamed, and the tension soon spills into meetings. You’re caught in the middle, unsure how to step in without taking sides.
Even strong teams experience moments like this. Conflict is a natural part of working with other people, and it rarely means anyone is a “bad” employee. More often, it reflects unmet needs and communication that breaks down under stress.
This guide covers how to resolve conflict between two employees with a fair, step-by-step approach. You’ll learn to act early, listen to both sides, look beneath each person’s position, and recognize when to escalate.
How Do You Resolve Conflict Between Two Employees?
Knowing how to resolve conflict between two employees starts with stepping in early and checking whether the issue is an HR or legal matter. From there, meet with each person privately, then facilitate a joint conversation that uncovers each person’s needs and interests. Agree on next steps together, document the process, and follow up.
Your role is to facilitate the conversation rather than rule on it, as our guide on how leaders manage employee conflict explains. At Pollack Peacebuilding Systems (PPS), our Peacebuilders approach this work through transformative, interest-based conflict resolution. Here’s the eight-step process at a glance:
- Address your conflict early.
- Assess whether it’s an HR or legal matter.
- Give your employees time to cool down.
- Meet with each employee privately.
- Listen fairly and stay impartial.
- Bring both employees together to explore interests.
- Agree on next steps and take breaks when needed.
- Document your process and follow up.
Why Conflict Between Two Employees Happens
Most conflict between coworkers comes from ordinary differences. Personality clashes, different work styles and expectations, unclear roles, and stress that disrupts collaboration can all put two people at odds. Our guide to navigating personality clashes goes deeper on temperament.
The visible trigger often sits on top of something deeper. A heated argument over a deadline may really be about chronic stress, poor communication, or simmering resentment from past slights, real or imagined. Looking beneath the surface helps you see the needs and emotions driving each person’s reaction.
The UK’s Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) surveyed employees for its 2020 research on workplace conflict. It found that 35% of UK employees had experienced interpersonal conflict over the past year. Left unaddressed, that tension can spread to the wider team, one of the hidden costs of workplace conflict.
8 Steps to Resolve Conflict Between Two Employees
The steps below give you a flexible sequence rather than a script. Adapt the order and pace to the people involved, since some conflicts settle after a conversation or two.
Step 1: Address Your Conflict Early
Step in as soon as you notice friction. Tension between coworkers rarely simmers down on its own, and it tends to get more personal over time. Set early expectations for respectful behavior and communication.
For a light-touch start, encourage the two employees to work out a solution together. Offer some coaching on how to approach the conversation, then watch closely in case things escalate.
Step 2: Assess Whether It’s an HR or Legal Matter
Screen the situation before you mediate. If the conflict involves possible harassment or discrimination, escalate it to HR promptly.
The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s EEOC guidance on harassment defines harassment as unwelcome conduct based on a protected characteristic, such as race or sex. The EEOC also notes that employers can be liable for coworker harassment they knew or should have known about and failed to promptly correct.
Check for policy violations, too. Review the employee handbook, and let HR lead wherever a policy applies.
Please note: this article isn’t legal advice. Federal law sets a baseline and state laws may add protections, so consult HR or legal counsel whenever you’re unsure.
Step 3: Give Your Employees Time to Cool Down
Strong emotions need time to settle. Right after a flare-up, both employees may be heated and say things that inflame the situation. Give them time to breathe before bringing anyone together.
In the moment, a calm tone and short, neutral statements can help lower the temperature. These are learnable skills, and de-escalation training can help managers practice them before they’re needed.
Step 4: Meet With Each Employee Privately
Private conversations come first. Discussing the conflict in front of the team can embarrass people, invite gossip, and make both employees less forthcoming.
Meet with each person separately and ask open questions about what happened and what matters most to them. Listen without interrupting, and don’t buy into gossip or assumptions. These one-on-ones surface each person’s emotions and perspectives before you bring them together.
Step 5: Listen Fairly and Stay Impartial
Impartiality is the foundation of a fair process. Give both employees equal time and attention, because feeling genuinely heard can lower defensiveness on its own. When people no longer need to fight for respect, the real issue is easier to see.
Active listening starts with removing distractions. Close your laptop, mute your devices, and paraphrase what you hear to confirm you’ve understood.
A 2023 study in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology linked high-quality listening to “positivity resonance and nondefensive self-reflection.” Its four experiments involved university students discussing disagreements rather than coworkers. Still, the findings suggest why feeling heard can soften defensiveness.
Neutrality under pressure is hard, even for experienced leaders. In the same 2020 CIPD report, 32% of UK employees who had experienced conflict said their manager had made the situation worse.
Keep your own emotions in check, since visible frustration can read as taking sides. If you’re too close to the situation, hand it to another manager and stay vague about why.
Step 6: Bring Both Employees Together to Explore Interests
A joint meeting gives both employees a chance to work through the conflict together. Set simple ground rules: one person speaks at a time, focus on the issue rather than the person, and aim for agreement over fault.
Ask enough questions that both people agree on what the conflict is actually about. Then move beyond positions and reactions to explore the needs and interests underneath.
Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation describes the interests beneath stated positions as the needs, motivations, and concerns driving people’s demands. Naming those interests is central to our transformative, interest-based approach, because it opens options that can meet both people’s needs.
It also helps to know the five Thomas-Kilmann conflict modes, which Kilmann Diagnostics lists as competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. The instrument’s publisher, The Myers-Briggs Company, notes that no single mode is best. Collaborating is the mode a joint meeting is designed to make possible.
Step 7: Agree on Next Steps and Take Breaks When Needed
Agreements work best when they’re specific and behavior-based. Work with both employees to define who does what and how they’ll communicate going forward.
Not every conflict settles in one meeting. If the conversation stalls, take a break and schedule another session, since rushing can leave the real issues unaddressed.
Step 8: Document Your Process and Follow Up
A clear record supports consistent follow-through. Note what happened, which interventions you tried, and what both employees agreed to. Then schedule check-ins at set intervals, and invite both employees to share feedback on how the process worked.
When to Bring In a Professional Mediator
Some conflicts need a neutral third party. Consider outside help when flare-ups return after agreements, you’re too close, or mistrust runs deep. Team-wide spillover and two employees who refuse to engage are signals, too.
A professional mediator has no history with either employee. That neutrality lets them ask questions that get to the heart of the issue and help both people explore options.
Structured mediation is widely used. In fiscal year 2024, the EEOC’s mediation program held 11,998 mediations and resolved 8,543 discrimination charges, a 71.2% success rate. Those figures cover formal discrimination charges only, so they don’t predict outcomes for everyday workplace disputes.
Mediation isn’t the right fit for every case. It may not be the right path when someone raising harassment or discrimination wants it formally investigated, so route those concerns through HR first.
Our Peacebuilders offer coworker mediation services grounded in the psychology of conflict and focused on the working relationship. Founded by social psychologist Dr. Jeremy Pollack, PPS is the largest workplace conflict resolution firm in the U.S. Our clients include Amazon, Deloitte, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
Our engagements start with Discovery, a free consultation to assess fit and identify the core issues. Next, a Program Director designs a Customized Proposal around your goals. During Initiation, a dedicated team of Peacebuilders and coaches launches and manages the program.
Larger organizations may also want a mediator on retainer. Our retainer services offer ongoing support without a new contract each time.
How to Help Prevent Future Conflict Between Employees
Prevention starts with building skills before the next flare-up. Our conflict management training workshops are tailored to your organization’s goals and can give teams shared language for disagreements.
For individuals stuck in recurring conflict, one-on-one conflict coaching offers personalized support. Leaders also play a role by modeling calm, curious responses to disagreement.
Our training is available on-site at your workplace or live virtual over Zoom or Microsoft Teams. Sessions run half-day or full-day and typically include 8 to 25 participants, whether employees, managers and supervisors, or executive leaders.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are quick answers to common questions about conflict between two employees. Use them alongside the steps above.
When Should HR Get Involved in a Conflict Between Two Employees?
HR should get involved in a conflict between two employees right away if harassment, discrimination, threats, or policy violations are involved. HR should also step in when manager-led steps haven’t helped.
Should a Manager Act as a Mediator or Make a Decision?
A manager should usually act as a mediator rather than make a decision. Employees are often more invested in solutions they help shape, though managers still decide on policy or performance issues.
What Are the 5 Conflict Resolution Strategies?
The 5 conflict resolution strategies are the five Thomas-Kilmann modes: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. Each fits different situations, and no single mode is best for every conflict.
What Do You Do When Two Employees Refuse to Resolve Their Conflict?
When two employees refuse to work through their conflict, pause and meet with each person again to understand what’s blocking progress. If they still won’t engage, consider a neutral outside mediator or HR involvement.
Why Is It Important to Document Workplace Conflict?
Documenting workplace conflict is important because it creates a clear record of what happened and what was agreed. That record helps you follow up consistently and supports HR if escalation is needed.
Get Support for Conflict Between Your Employees
Knowing how to resolve conflict between two employees comes down to a few practices. Act early, listen fairly, look beneath positions to the interests underneath, and know when to bring in help.
If you’d like support, our Peacebuilders can help you navigate active conflict and build practical skills across your team. Your first step is Discovery, a free consultation to explore fit.
